Man, I’ve got a long way to go.
It’s going to be okay, darling. You may not see it and believe it, but it’s going to take time and you’ll get better. Don’t give up just yet.
No, you’re not hearing me. I ‘ v e G o t A L o n g W a y T o G o.
It means I’m seeing where I want to reach. I’m actually seeing where I want to reach. I’m feeling it. I’m passionate about it. I want it.
And I want it so bad, I even allowed myself to accept that it’s not going to come for me. I’m going to have to go after it. And it’s a really, really, really long way to go. It’s going to take so much time. And I’m okay with it. I’m okay with it. It’s not overwhelming to me how much time it’s going to take.
I don’t want to take shortcuts. I don’t want to give up. I don’t want to throw it all away just because what I wish for is too far from reach and that has overwhelmed me. No. No.
I want… To get there. So I have to leave here. This time and place; this part of me. I have to leave it here in the past. I want to.
As long as I have this moment of tranquillity from my all-too-consuming depression, I have got to seize this opportunity while I can. Wrap my hands around this, take as much strength and will power as I can from myself. I have to. I want to.
This is what I want.
Depression is a state of stagnant water.
There’s no current, no flow, of water through the river stream of a mind.
When that happens toxins build up, toxifying the waters, the mind.
Killing all living things… healthy feelings… emotions…
It’s a little tiring, becomes tiresome, unbelievable, overwhelming, intolerable…
It kills you.
It will always kill you.
But that doesn’t mean you have to kill yourself.
Don’t rush it.
Wait for one more minute… one more hour… one more day…
Be dead inside for one more day, because you won’t even see it coming unless you stay.
The rain will come… will pour… will wash away your pain.
And your river will flow like you’ve never believed it would.
Your river will flow as it should.
The flow… rushing through your veins, coursing through your soul…
And you’ll want to stay for another day. Not because you have to.
You want to.
Hey, I know.
This is depression we are talking about.
It just doesn’t go away.
The waters may not always flow strongly all day every day.
But the rain will come.
It always comes.
It will, especially for you.
Photo credit: @plekien (Insta)